It comes sporadically, never at the exact same time, but that’s the best part.
When I began thinking about this question. I admit it… I was paralyzed by my inability to give a quick answer. It startled me, and kind of sent me in a downward spiral of self doubts and depression. Somehow this simple question opened a can of worms I didn’t even know I had. Throughout the day I pondered…
I thought of the mornings I waked up at 4:00am. The stillness of the world. Everywhere you looked through the window seemed to be operating like a huge secret that only nature, garbage men, and the check out people at the airport know about. The feeling of having the world to myself in this quiet moment of perceived paused gave me such Zen and peace of mind that, at these times, I feel like I can finally think clearly. I enjoy it so much. For the brief hours before the world starts up I am at peace with my humanity.
Then I remembered the productive, sleepless nights. The rush of a deadline. The wonderment of my ability to finish “the impossible”. The adrenaline that comes from achieving your outmost potential to fulfill a task you believe in. It is at these moments deep into the depths of the night that I encountered my most creative self. I feel like I could infinitely express myself — a mental “top of the world” feeling like no other. I enjoy it so much. For the brief hours where I get to spend time with my creative self I am enamored with my humanity.
Finally as the day transpired, I thought of the sporadic walks during my day. Often time the transition points between professional, education or personal responsibilities and tasks. The moments where the randomness of existing is at full display. With music, and without, walking has always been my favorite thing to do. Exploring my surroundings and just existing alongside with it, in silence and awe. Observing it and it observing me. The walks with my dog and succumbing to his enthusiasm, looking at the world through the eyes of children, hearing laughter from a group of friends — it is these random micro moments of my day that are my favorite part of the day. I enjoy it very much. For the brief moments I get to be part of it I am appreciative of my humanity.
Whatever being or feeling at peace, enamored and appreciative means to you, enable it more. But always remember to strike balance. It has been my experience that the hardships, sadness and unfairness of life heightens the intensity of happiness generated by moments of peace, love and appreciation.
