To All The Articles I Didn’t Write, I Apologize

The first draft of my future apology video

adevarias

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I’m making fun of myself. Why? Because I’ve had 4 different article ideas today and I’ve written a total of 0 words in any direction. This one I’m writing now is off the cuff — unscripted ~going with the flow~.

I don’t want to write them because I’m not ready to write them. They’re too political, chaotic, or research heavy. I know everything in them is factual — but I don’t want to spend the time and rigor going through and finding all the resources and references — as my reader deserves.

The reality is that I’m burnt out.

Everyone talks about acknowledging you’re burnt out, but then what?

Seriously. I’m here staring at my computer mounds of work to get through. The worry, the stress, the numb immobility I feel at the mountain of work in front of me it’s debilitating me and affecting all of my relationships. And yes. My mood.

But then what? I can’t quit, I can’t scream, I can’t run. I’m stuck here in this rat race inspired to do anything but what I’m expected to do.

I’m devolving into a goblin that only chases an unnaturally unattainable pot of gold. I’ve reached the end of my line and I’m…

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adevarias

Architectural designer crafting well-researched articles envisioning the future of the built environment.