“Take Control of Your F***ing Life”
Are you on autopilot? I certainly am sometimes. I catch myself getting lost in my own bullshit until I’m but a crumb on the floor, too paralyzed to do anything.
Some akin it to mental health, and that’s probably right. But I’ve never wanted to be a victim, even if it’s of my own self. I enjoy the feeling of agency, and knowing I’m in control.
As I shake myself from this self-perpetuating stupor, I go through the following thoughts,
What are you afraid of?
“Everything. I’m afraid of losing my life that I’ve built this far. I’m afraid to disappoint the people I love. I’m afraid of becoming a statistic, a stereotype — one more victim of society. As I said, agency is key for me and the thought of self-inflicting a situation that takes that away is scary.
But other than that I’m Gucci.”
I know. I know. I’ve said literally nothing that’s helpful thus far. So I’ll ask again.
What are you afraid of?
I had a recent experience that made me realize that nobody is actually looking, nobody actually cares about what you think or do. Everyone is stuck in their little world. When they finally look up and notice, it is very temporary.
Therefore, life is a sequence of impressions. You just have to time your impressions right.
What’s holding you back?
Most people get stuck in this one. They start listing people, events, and money — there will always be more excuses than solutions. And because I have learned that the hard way, I know that I’m holding myself back.
“There have been so many impossible moments in my life. Ones that nobody (and I really mean no one) but myself believed in me. I always come through. So why would I think anything was holding me back?”
It’s me. It’s yourself. You’re holding yourself back.
Daring to live with consequences
If you managed to get past 1 and 2. Congrats. You’re amazing! You’re built different.
All actions come with consequences, and I think this is the point of the journey that people get cold feet. Consequences.
People hate consequences. Some might read this and think, well damn. Back to square 1.
No. Dealing with the consequences of your actions is the first tenement of agency and where true courage lies.
Be bold. Be brave. Be humble.
You will fuck up, and you will live with it.
But you will be in control. You will be free.
In this nuevo year yo estoy experimentando mucho. Especialmente con who I am and how that impacta mi career as a practicing Architectural Designer en camino to licensure. If you want to be parte del journey, subscribete para never, ever miss my posts. Si no eres parte de medium, perhaps consider joining Medium if you haven’t already. Hacerlo te dara access to other informative articles adentro de este incredibly diverse platform.
Other things written by me (English),
How Fort & Castle Design Informs Architecture in an Era of Mass Shootings
What You Can Expect From Architecture In The Next 10 Years?
7 Lessons From Architecture School To Apply When Writing
